He'll turn your plan of keeping up with him into a triage statistic.
Damn, Damn, Damn. We hear it as he jives around slow racers.
Kid turns into your dad on race day. Go ahead, try to keep up son.
Stacks on deck. Patron on ice. Cramps your leg & you cry all night.
Get out of his way or you'll feel your shadow is faster than you.
Gets in your head like a puppeteer & shoves you out of his way.
Plays it smooth & flowy just like Kenny G but with much better hair.
She will help you spell D-E-F-E-A-T with correct pronunciation.
After your spank, she'll baby wipe the dirt she kicked on your face.
This Dude doesn't abide, obviously not a golfer & must break you.
Flow trails bore him. Give this man a 30+ mile summit or he will yawn.
Know that gut feel when you get dropped? Now you know her name.
The OG Zombie Camels. Master of local trails, fire, Jeeps & brews.
Cruisin' for a bruisin'? This man can kick, stretch & kick!
Seems to use a dirt bike to holeshot past leg powered squids.
On a voyage to colonize every race & settle on top of the podium.
A race strategist that'll PowerPoint the reason he left you in the dust.
Race photographer to us, War Correspondent to our competitors.
Bearded Race Pit master managing tent like a fine FEMA trailer.
Race Pit invisible spirit that floats around the beverage cooler.